by
NejinOniwa
@ Saturday, Feb. 24, 2007 - 21:03:16
So here we go again. It's the ninth week of the year and the whole region gets a frigging holiday, for no particular reason at all. I mean, what the!? Things like that make me think what they actually put it there for. Considering the situation of this country, I think it all went somehow like this:
During a regular dinner at the house of the prime minister for no particular reason, an argument about an important topic bursts up.
Minister o' education: "Could you pass me the salt, Peter? Thanks. Oh and by the way, the school kids are complaining about the quality of the education again, and we've got some school in the south on strike. What are we going to do?"
Prime minister dude: "I dunno, you're the guy in charge of that stuff! Do something!"
"PETER": "How about we give them a week off? Like, a regulated one-week holiday for students?"
Prime minister dude: "What, for no reason at all? That's just stupid."
Prime minister dude's dad with weird snobby accent: "Hmm...In fact, my dear son, I think that may not be the case at all, considering how much you whined about that kind of stuff when you were a young lad."
Prime minister dude: "Oh come on, dad..."
Minister o' education: "Actually it does not seem like that a bad idea. But won't it be a bit of a problem? I mean, it's probably going to cause a sudden, massive outbursts of people wanting to go on vacation, bringing massive traffic jams and overbooking and snakes on a plane and stuff?"
"PETER": "No problem! We'll just make it a different week depending on where you live!"
Minister o' education: "Make it so! And by the way, where's that coffee?"
Maybe something like that. It also proves that government guys are nothing but a bunch of totally useless jerks, and the people who come up with all the brilliant ideas are always censored out of the records, to make sure that they won't come back and take credit for it later. It also ensures the actuality of the much-disputed Newton's Sixty-eighth and Highly Unlikely Law, which states that you come up with all the really good ideas where you absolutely don't need them. For example, how to save the world from certain doom (in the restroom at a very rough party), how to build a functioning fusion reactor worth its price (in the middle of a Lord Of The Rings-marathon, just at the scene where Boromir tries to kidnap/abuse Frodo, according to many fan-fiction writers), or, to use a popular example, what the bloody hell that damn gravity thing is anyway (precisely after being whacked in the head by a random, red and not so vile-tasting roughly spherical carbon-based pseudo-intelligent life form). Life is really ironic, actually - I feel like I'm starting to believe some of the theories written down by the sceptically viewed scholar Douglas Adams in his only great work "The Hitchhikers' Guide To The Galaxy" for some reason.
Likewise, while I'm sitting here writing a blarg of random sarcasm and fake theories of physics and the rest of the family is glued to the TV watching the national intakes to the Eurovision Song Contest, I naturally have in my mind (as well as in my maths notebook, which by the way also contains a periodic table, a lot of mystical symbols and a drawing of a seal, but almost no actual maths at all) several important theories that are most likely to save the bloody world from certain bloody doom. Of course they're confidential and stuff so I can't write them here, since that would be very stupid - but you might see them if you, for some reason, become a student in some scientific circle in some ten years or so.
All right, enough randomness, lies and bragging now. Let's move on to the actual topic of today's post...
As I stated in the beginning, we've got a one-week holiday next week. Therefore I'm going to take this opportunity of good weather and go north to do some serious alpine skiing. Sounds nice, eh?
What's even more good, though, is that my state-of-the-art Atomics have been fixed now, and thus I will be able to do some seriously evil rampaging in the slopes, but ALSO that the place we're going to has a special slope for SPEEDSKI. Which is, SERIOUSLY DAMN COOL.
Speedski is pretty simple - you place yourself at the top of a well-prepared, quite long, but most importantly, REALLY DAMN STEEP slope, and lean forward a bit. Then you just go on and on and on until you stop, preferably hitting a speed mark well over the highway limits. The world record is somewhere around 350km/h, I think. And that's just downright fucking scary, since that's about the same speed that those über-high-tech maglev trains in the tech-savvy JAPAN do at their best. Therefore the sport is officially classed as Seriously Fucking Insane, as well as Not Safe For Mankind, but that doesn't mean you can't go ahead and race as freaking fast as you can anyways. I'll try and see how fast I can go as max - not that I'll be having any accurate measurements (most likely), but I hope I'll be able to hit somewhere above the 200k-mark. Last time I went for skiing really fast and measured it (albeit not extremely accurately), I hit well over 110k. Which also is damn fast, although not NSFM like the world records of speedski. Worth to note is also that I did this some well four-three years ago when i was but a little tot (TWELVE YEARS OLD! O.o), and also didn't exactly use the steepest slope in the place for the act, and despite this got a pretty nifty 'n high speedmark done. If my equations are correct, this means I might be able to do some serious badassing up there. Watch out for the blue phantom in streaking down the wall, people - That's me, laughing at death and racing for joy.
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//Neige
